Humor
Sitemap ---- * See Also Finks_experiments * and Rejected_Heavy_Hitters * and Many Humorous Splicers * and Excelsior * and Art_Deco_Era_Slang * and Strange_Splicer_Visions ---- Monty Python-esque Visit to Rapture : * The "Killer" Barnacle * Search for the Holy Tram (and Father Wales' portable goodie stash) * Knights of the Fishbowl Diner (Paupers Drop isn't what it used to be ...) * Holy Handgrenade of Anchovy (You must count to five (three) ...) * "HE must be Andrew Ryan, because he doesn't have Shit all over him" ... * Sofia Lamb and the Giant Badger (Eleanor made her escape much earlier ...) * Sofia Lambs 'Comfy Operating Table' (inherited from Suchong ... Nice Red Blood!!! ) * "Bring out your Dead !!!" ('But he's not quite dead !!') * The Bridge of Eternal Bunny (Sander Cohen's strange departure into Engineering/Architecture) * "We are the Splicers who say 'No'" (Most of Rapture's answer to Lamb and her cockamamie philosophy). * Guys wearing hankerchiefs on their heads - things drip in Rapture... * Giant foot crushing a Big Daddy (with appropriate fake fart sound effect). ---- Alot of Columbia looked like "IF 'Guyana' Jim Jones had run Coney Island" ''' ---- '''For a While the SaturNINE were the SaturTEN.... But one moved to Columbia. ---- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . --- --- --- Things We might like to see in Rapture : ' * Splicers singing in a 'Barbershop Quartet' - Doing what they THINK is harmonizing. * Trained SeaSlugs humming tunes ... Some Splicers had 'way too much free time' .... * Stand Up Comic routines - with a reason to repeat most times you see them (and Hecklers who turn into a lynch mob). '''And in Dreamscape Columbia : ' * Booker getting hit in the face with the shit Elizabeth throws him -- "Hey Booker, Axe, Catch !!!" * Whole lotta Columbia inhabitants who talk in nothing but Star Trek cliche phrases. Dim ideas for the gamez, but amusing vignettes. --- --- --- 'Chess sets in Rapture have "No Kings", So how does that Work ?' - George Carlin For some reason in BaSx, there was a ticket to CATS! in Jacks wallet. It must've been on of those multidimensional crossover things that seem to happen alot when Quantumz are involved. ---- '''If Johnny Topside returned to Rapture today, would he now come on Delta Airlines ?? --- --- --- ' "Songbird" Really Doesn't Sound Imposing Enough as a Name For Some City 'Protector' : ' "He'll Peck Your Eyes Out and Infest You With His Verminous Ticks !!!!" - that doesn't really sound that good for a 'saying' told about him in Columbia. "Endeavor" the Eagle was Columbia's mascot for the exposition. Sinister things then took place ... Giant Pigeons.. imagine the mess and the (many more) cleanup crews this city would have to employ ... Songbird looks like Giant Pigeon in a Gimp Suit. A not quite a Batmanesque conceptual thingamabob ? (("Well It Was The Best Ken&Co Could Do" ... Obviously an attempt to remake a Big Daddy type iconic thingee -- one that might be made cheaply in China as game merchandise)), but remember, gamewise it is pretty much relegated to cutscenes (you actually were challenged when DEALING WITH Rapture's Big Daddies). --- --- --- ' The Great Demitasse Kurfuffle ' : Between BS1 and BS2, Speculation ran wild when the peanut gallery at the Irrational Forum saw a Sign (window viewed) on various buildings in the BS2 Demo previews, which said "Demitasse". Some Forum denizens assumed/speculated/insisted it was to be the next big 'Fontaine-like Boss' character villain. All when it was actually just an out-in-the-water advertising sign for some Tea Shop (a "demitasse" is a small cup that turkish coffee or espresso is served in). Theories were flung, Violent Arguments abounded and bannings were legion (or not - like Shrodingers cat ... ) Anyway, was it quite amusing that so much palaver was spent on so much nothing. ---- Music from the Nether Regions : Splicers playing 'Rock' music - truly alien to the people of Rapture -- more sign of the degeneracy and insanity caused by the ADAM disease.... Someone in the City Intelligence Unit suggested its use for psychological warfare to drive Splicers from a target area so that it might be secured using conventional methods. (There were worries that smart Splicers might easily turn the same tactic around and use it on Citizens). New Rapture's spies have brought back images from 'The Surface' showing sufficient current weirdness to convince most newly sane people that 'the End of the World' is already starting up there. "Rock" music to a Splicer may include banging rocks against their heads (which actually might be less painful than listening to some of the stuff that passes for 'Music' up on the Surface). ---- ---- ---- ---- Sander Cohen's Banjo Concerto : ' Now THAT'S scary !!! ---- ---- Columbia Knitting Circle Image of "Their' god ... (''Sorry Ken, what you show isn't "Christianity" in any way, no matter what 'Point' you think you are trying to make). The game couldn't be much more peculiar than this Cthulhu thing(and would have actually made more sense). Cute to see the little Founder children holding these as they run for their lives from Booker's mayhem .... ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- 'Sounds from the Lighthouse : ' "If they're so smart, let 'em come up with a Plasmid for cleaning seagull crap offa stonework ..." "You would think that a 200 foot Lighthouse would not be conducive to secrecy." "Hey look, some guy named Jack carved his initials into this bannister" "Gettin to go up to The Surface ain't all its cracked up to be, I'm freezing my ass off ..." "No, no, no. FIRST you close the door and THEN you hit the descend button ..." "I just found a message in a bottle ... who is Ringo ??? " "Hey Skipper, look A Lighthouse!! Lets go tell the Professor, maybe he can figure out where the fuck we are ..." Prophet Elijah - "Oops, wrong Rapture ..." "You think anyone will want these Ryan statues any more ?" "Who the hell keeps leavin' Pepbar wrappers and empty beer bottles up here ???" "Hey Mr Bubbles, that 'sphere ride was fun! Aaaaah, that bright thing is hurting my eyes, Kill It !!, Kill It !!!!" "Huh?? Hey! Where did all those other Lighthouses come from?!!! Phewww, really gotta stop drinkin that Absinthe stuff ..." ---- OOPS, Jack got his Longitude wrong... (Don't blame him, he's only 4 years old). ---- Splicing up cats is not a good idea. And I don't think inserting Cat DNA into humans would be a good idea either, no matter how fast their physiological reflexes could make a human's. Subplots for Infinite BS more interesting than that original game. (Finnegan's Island ???) "Today the Pneumo, Tomorrow Rapture!!" (Splicing Cats was a bad idea.) There are many strange things on the internet. (Guesthost while Limecat is on vacation ...) There were other alternative to a Giant Pigeon for an 'iconic' nemesis in Columbia .... Infinite universes. With one where Tears start opening up, its a safe bet that eventually VERY bad things start happening. The cliche chase picture by whatever the fricken hell that thing is. 'Run Elizabeth, Run !!! ' Poseidon Brewery's giveaway mug ... (lots artsy people out there the MMORPG can tap into) So they regurgitated the 'conditioning' idea from BioShock (Little Sister/Big Daddy relationship), passed it through the gut of Infinite BS fantasy and excreted it back into the BaS DLC. The whole overdone 'imprinting' project of Fink's for this Whaterverthehelitwas Songbird idea (it was some kind of game attempt for iconic Big Daddy -- which degenerated into only a cutscene icon, and very little more gameplaywise). (Sad and Funny at the same time). '"We'll be visiting a place where the storyteller's logic fell down, a place built seemingly impossible not to Fail. Unfortunately it is not only a place you visit ... in ... The Twilight Zone." ' Early Protector with bonding designed around Discipline and Threat The moon Rapture would have been a simpler environment to build on (and with alot underground and less pressure differential - like by a factor of 20), except for the transportation issue (launch to Earth orbit and a quarter of a million miles to travel). In an Alternate Dimension, Booker had been a bowler instead of a killer and Columbia (being his dreamscape) could have been built as a giant bowling alley/pinball machine !!! Many strange amusing ideas - something amusing found in Sander Cohen's stuff (or a Splicer dream) - though the 'pony' stuff would have to be changed to Rabbits or somesuch because of the copyright issues for the MMORPG. Characters should be bigger than life. (How many strange things can you spot in this picture ??) Some ideas for Splicers were just plain wrong... (but in the MMORPG you can have LOTS of 'out-of-band' content' NOT seen in previous games.) Sad kinda "funny" - With the whole 'Tear' thing SHOWING stuff from the future, instead of Zeppelin stupidity we coulda had neat stuff like '''This ---- Fink never figured out how to recycle ADAM from bodies, but there WAS another way... (Note - this might explain why Sinclair obtained the contract for Rapture's sewage collection and disposal.) Suchong said to get the sample. This was the only sample that Elizabeth could find... ('' "poo-poo" jokes will be fair game in the MMORPG'') ---- ---- Shrodingers OTHER experiment ... DO these people look like they are 'on something'? Its been noted that they are each looking off into a different point in space. Actually quite a pair of bungling meddlers ... I don't know about you, but I think this is one of the most hilariously stupid things in the game. "Crazy Hood Ornament" was my first thought on seeing it. If we wanted to do crossovers properly ... Fan Artists can do really good art creations (something the MMORPG would count on) So that's what happened to Thomas after Columbia attacked the Isle of Sodor Master Po was very wise ... ---- All those time and interdimensional disturbances brought this investigating - alternate universes can be a bad place for meddlers as Fink would find out. ---- Comstock had worse worries than "The False Shepherd" ---- That interdimensional Quantumz stuff can get weird ... Very Weird ... Hint for the unobservant - what is Hitler drawing ? ---- Things got stranger and stranger... (Red Dwarf ref ...) Brigid needed something as a substitute to handle the severe withdrawal symptoms for the physical and psychological dependence the Little Sisters had had with ADAM. What could she possibly use for that ? One of Fontaine's less mentioned Experiments. (wait one more and they could've had a Quarry Singing Quartet) I guess Atlas had the last "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" ... Game might be a bit different in this case... "Sonny, can you help me up this curb..." "I once had a Tweety bird, but it died long ago" Idea (never finalized) after the failure of the Robotic Little Sisters to bond with the Big Daddies. A Solution was to make the Little Sisters less vulnerable to ADAM-hungry Splicers. If James Bond could be hooked and picked up off a raft in the Pacific (Dr No, 1959) then something like that MIGHT have gotten Booker to Columbia -- instead of that ridiculous techo-fantasy lighthouse rocket BS. Tenenbaum the Chainsmoker (ADAM therapy for Lung Cancer ??) (You'd think they could at least have substituted the head Asset?? '') ---- SanderCohenArt << Lots of creepy amusing weird stuff here Funniest (stupidity) of all is that the whole 'multiverse' thing would have been SO EASY to use to explain all the hacked writing weirdness (careless Canon retro changes) we saw in the '''Infinite BS' DLC. Monty Python first aired this very skit at the time of the events of the rebirth of Rapture. Big Daddies had lives too... (In post-Ryan Rapture you don't play for money any more...) " I'll Raise You Three Ryan 123 Beers ..." ' Weird things are seen through "Tears". How many multiverses were DESTROYED because of the Luteces meddling (not really that humorous)?? Imagination of the Users (far beyond the game companies few people) is what is needed in the future of games. What exactly happened to all these 'Tears' when Comstock (allegedly) ceased to exist and the Tear stuff never happened?? Suchong never could have spied on Fink to build his own 'Tear' machine (as ludicrous as that actually is -- You know I just saw an Apple computer in a store last week and have built my own... Hack writers can be so pathetic sometimes). In the MMORPG it really WAS just a bad dream Suchong had after eating some bad clams and having strained McDonagh's plumbing quite a bit ("Who Clean Toilet Now... Not Suchong. Suchong Scientist!!!"). Ryan learned of the intrusion by Fink (in Suchong's report) through the interdimensional 'Tears'. Ryan launched a program to nullify and destroy the Threat. Specially equipped Big Daddies were sent through the Tears with orders to obliterate everything there. Columbia's with its meager technologies didn't have a chance. (So ended a multitude of 'Columbias' across the Interdimensional Continuum - without even that really dim "Let Elizabeth kill you, Daisy..." moment happening). A Big Daddy's nightmare .... Someones 3D printing combining two models. Wait til they invent kineto-plastics for these things. Amusing things are found on the Interwebz. But But But it was Columbia which runs on Unicorn Tears... Ryan would try to dissuade Citizens from ADAM use that led to Insanity. (''or maybe a propgandistic hint at what the nuclear shit had done (or might be doing) to the Surface world) Bin Diving and Shooting, Rinse, Repeat ... Funny, but in a VERY sad way. General lack of imagination and just regurgitating the patterns from the previous games (but not done as well). If 'Piltdown Man' was real, '''HE would have been sad about how Infinite BS turned out. Arthur Conan Doyle simply said 'Logic has nothing to do with it, and it shows." Fink destroyed his workers souls by showing them his vacation slides... Imagine this circling a Vox riot and unloading on them with its six Gatling guns and dropping a squad of "Firemen". Seriously with the army of para-military Police we saw, Columbia should have been a locked-down Police State where the Vox would have been exterminated as soon as they "crawled out of the woodwork". (Lame-assed game writers often haven't a clue, eh ?) Paris was ALWAYS a pretty Twisted Place. Watch out Elizabeth, you might get more than you dreamed of going there ... Intimidating the Untermenschen was a primary function of Columbia's 'Police'. Even the Nazis tried to hide their brutality from their general public. (Seriously WHY THE HELL would a cop have this thing in the 'White People' section of the Columbia ?????????????????????????????????? Whats 'funny' is how inept and shallow in understanding the game's writers were. ) Various modern memes can be employed in the new Player Created Assets as long as they aren't TOO close a copy (Submissions WOULD be thoroughly vetted for copyright violations) Seriously, who came up with that pathetic looking Giant Parakeet/Pigeon in a poorly-made Gimp Suit ??? They shoulda known that tampering with Genetic Engineering would lead to strangeness. Weird things began to happen in Rapture. (Jack might be seen riding around on one of these ... in some Splicers Nightmare maybe...) It is amusing to ridicule fantasy pretending to be science fiction being used for a rather poor AAA computer game (a weird faulty story and semi-fancy terrain doesn't make up for sub-par combat system in a Shooter game). The whole 'Tear' thing also was barely used for player interactions (they chopped/abandoned anything interesting after the 2nd game rewrite of Infinite BS ), and made most into static/contrived things between the 'battle arena' content filler. With Infinite Universes, and Tears now connecting between them, Very Bad things started happening in so many of those Infinite universes ... BAD things happen when the Metaverse starts being strewn/littered with Tears. With Fink's minions using Tears to supply Columbia, unfortunate occurrences simply increased in frequency exponentially. Moving cities apparently weren't an original idea ... The Game kinda might have been a bit different (Players motivation ?) if it were "Bring us the Dumpy Middle Aged Woman and wipe away your debt !!!" (( Also, Imagine YOU Playing the AGED Comstock, and the Evil Villain being the Booker ... ' " Wait!! *puff* *puff* ... Wait Elizabeth ... *pufff* *puff* ... Stop running ahead so fast ... " ')) ---- Booker's Convenient Fall Through Ceiling (Library Meet) : Floor gives way and he falls 30 feet ... no problem. But In many of the Alternate Universes : 1) Booker breaks his back in the fall and flops around for a while (THE END) 2) The big metal floor plate falls and squashes Elizabeth (well the 'deal' never said 'the Girl' needed to be alive ...) 3) Elizabeth, in fright, throws a heavy book on Ancient Peruvian Textile Patterns and brains Booker -- resulting in his immediate death from a caved-in skull. (She then searches for that book on Anatomical Dissection). 4) That stupid external PERILOUSLY WINDY staircase which Booker runs up - He is blown off and plunges either 200 feet or 12000 feet to his death. 5) Elizabeth is standing there in pancake makeup alongside a human corpse dressed as a large rabbit coated with plaster (she was just adding a smiley face on it in watercolors) .... "Welcome Little Moth !!!" 6) That golden Floor DOESN'T Collapse, and Booker looks through yet another creepy Peepshow Window and decides "He's Had Enough", and decides to leave Columbia, and goes to steal one of those freaky flying things, and sell it somewhere for MORE than enough money to 'Pay his Debts'. We could have a quite 'fun' Contest with imaginative scenes like these, remade for a mini-vignette where you get/work-through all the 'FAILZ' quick endings when you do the wrong thing/option (just pick left/right turn is sufficient - no difficulty once you know the option path). The fun point is TO FIND/SEE ALL THE DIFFERENT AMUSING EVENT VARIATIONS (and the amusing/incredibly stupid possibilities). ---- Rescue in The Tower and Songbrid Is After Them : Elizabeth : " They've been watching me !! Why ? Why did they put me in here ? What Am I ??? " Booker : " You're a genetically warped French Poodle that escaped from a place called Rapture. " Elizabeth : "Oh! No wonder I wanted to go to Paris ..." ---- So that's where they came up with all that !!! It is pretty obvious that the bird/cage thing was SUPPOSED to be more in the Infinite BS game (Some kind of "Player Choice" like you had (Sortof) in the previous BioShock games). Probably, like so many things, Levine f*cked up what they had planned and we only get SAD remnants of what might have been in a MUCH BETTER game. BRICKS OR CLOWN - which will the Player choose ????? You never quite know what you find on the other side of a 'Tear'. In an Infinite number of parallel universes Fink's minions doing so spelled DOOM for not just Columbia. ---- Audio Diary (to honor L Frank Baum and his imaginations) ''' : Dorothy, Fort Frolic 1960 : "Is this thing On ?? ... Oh what a strange place this is. Toto, I don't think we are in Kansas any more. That strange light and suddenly we're Here ..." Toto : *Woof* Dorothy : "Toto, Those strange people are coming closer. I really don't like the look of them ..." Toto : *Woof* Dorothy : "Oh my, what are they doing ... Please, No! '''Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Toto : (running) Yip yip yip .. *Crunch* Sklonnnnk!! *Silence* Unknown : Heh, heh, heh .... *Click* ---- Biggles ---- A bit more realistic than that 'pinky' stupidity (Seriously what baby EVER holds their hand like that). And a bit more gruesome (but highly likely in far more dimensions). Remember : Infinite Universes ... --- --- --- Woody Allen in Rapture : ' What would he say about it (Please no crude Little Sister jokes) "Spiders the Size of Buicks? Have you SEEN those Spider Splicers ?" *audience guffaws* "Unfortunately my Shrink is 4000 miles away, and On the Surface. Abandonment issues ? ... gives me something to talk about with Dr Lamb, who unfortunately is starting to talk like Hitler, but Shrinks are hard to come by down here in Rapture, So ..." *Laughter* "I once tried ADAM" *Audience Chuckles*, "I broke out in Hives and was constipated for a week. Not too bad overall ..." *Audience Laughs*" "Needles? I don't like needles. When they make Plasmids you can smear on a bagel, let me know...." "Have you heard that these Vita-Chamber things have conquered Death ? THAT'S GREAT!! And illnesses? But now WHAT will my family talk about over meals ??? ... *Applause*". Of course Woody would have had to come thru one of Infinite's Pixie Dust Rabbitholes (Tears) because he was successful on the Surface, and really didn't need to run away from anything. "Captive audience" wasn't a joke in Rapture, and even as inventive as Allen was, coming up with new jokes to keep a comedy act alive in such a small venue would have strained even his abilities. ---- Sinclair%26deltaWait.jpg Daddy_says1.jpg CatWentThruTear.jpg|alluding to the vapid storyline they fed you in Infinite BS SureIsSoft.jpg|'Compared to What ??? Sack.jpg|The Luteces were NOT particularly specific about HOW Booker should "Bring Them The Girl" ... Letsnowtalkseriouslyaboutconstipation.jpg|Quality of life was a big concern in Rapture Shrodingererre.jpg MergingInconveniences.jpg|Infinite BS might have been more interesting to be more about this. Upengine.jpg|Controls for one of the Duke&Dimwit Puppets - Imagine what Columbia's Control Room looks like ... Funtime_Is_Over.jpg|When Exactly Was 'Funtime' ?? Drivefaster.jpg GAME_OVER.jpg|Daddy needs to clean the brains out of his drill Spastichicken222.jpg Mikky.jpg|Seriously, it couldn't possibly look any stupider than the original Booker_catch.jpg|Really HOW HARD could it have been to include THIS happening ???? WorseThanPigeons.jpg|This was becoming Intolerable AnotherCatActInRapture2.jpg|'"Too Many F@$%$%#@# Cat Acts" - Sander Cohen' ---- Quantum Fun : What happens when FloatyShit™ isn't quite balanced in its floating ?? Objects/mechanisms (employing REAL Quantum Levitation) can, if not exactly designed, and with magnetic fields not precisely controlled, suddenly flip over and even start spinning at odd off plane angles (( '' Hmm Columbia as one HUGE Merry-Go-Round -- SEE IMAGINATION !!!! '' )). NOW THAT would have been something amusing to see happen to Columbia, as the 'Elizabeth' factor was removed (as she leaves through a Tear) - resulting in destabilization of the whole place (likewise some 'VOX' attack on Columbia's Control Room, or whatever machinery supposedly keeps Columbia stable). Comstock : "Now I will lay out my cleverly fiendish plan before killing you Mr Dewitt." Booker : "WHAT DOES THIS SWITCH DO ??" Comstock : "THAT CONTROLS THE SYSTEM WHICH KEEPS THE CITY FROM IMPLODING AND CRUMPLING UP LIKE A BALL OF TIN FOIL" (aluminium "tin foil" first mass produced 1910) . . . DON'T TOUCH THAT !!! Booker : *Click* "OOPS ..." Comstock : "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!" *BAAA-WHOOOM* * CRINKLE CRINKLE CRINKLE * Booker : " SHIIIIITTTT !!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Comstock : " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Lobotimized Elizabeth : "Derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp ........ !!!!" --- --- --- Place '''PukeBoxes all over Columbia''' : MMORPG REDO of Infinite BS - They are required due to the constant airsickness of the inhabitants (You also see lotsa Serfs/Untermenschen constantly puttering around cleaning up puddles of vomit). Other things there should be : * Barf Bags for swaying/bobbing buildings * Dramamine (for motion sickness - Fink stole it through a tear for himself) * Sunglasses, Sunscreen and Lip-balm (Sunlight at 15000 feet - chapped lips at cold altitude) * Wool Mittens (its cold that high ALWAYS) Looting these (if you really must) might be 'interesting' ... --- --- --- Penn and Teller go to Rapture (Why not, if they went to Babylon 5 ???) : Maybe better as an idea for Columbia which HAS Time Travel (Illusions so realistic, they would be BURNT as Sorcerers.) --- --- --- ' No!!! Not Tractor-Punk !!!! ' --- --- --- Humor : Flybot - Mini-Game - theme song -- Sinatra's "Fly Me to the Goon" ' Possibly may get past copyright issues by making it 'satire' and changing tune sufficiently, playing a fragment, etc... Otherwise just mention the name ... (and beg off with some excuse like a Splicer ate the last known copy) Artist who answers to the name of 'Whaako' or 'Krapoa' (he changed his name week to week) who... Wrapped the Kashmir Restaurant building in a huge sheet of white Bioluminescent fabric he named 'Shroud' or 'Infinite Shroud-o-lopolooza (Sofia Lamb would probably have loved this kind of 'stuff' - maybe she played 'cards' with him also ...) --- --- --- '''Humor - Questions -- Do you Really Want these Answered ? : ' LS - Where are the Little Girls rooms (Note- didn't see any in the LS Possession episode in BS2) What exactly do you do to those Little Mutant Sisters you 'Harvest' (and choking down a dead Sea Slug can't be pretty, either). How exactly did Sander Cohen get those corpses to stay in those life-like poses while the plaster was setting ?? Big Daddy Restrooms .... ??? more Ewwwwwwww... What OTHER things Sander Cohen used Plaster for ... Sinclair's Sewage Recycling Plant - fortunately there is no Smell interface for computers (yet) - though we can still have NPCs and Avatars react appropriately. Original plan was to have Paupers Drop include the City Dump to be picked over by the locals. Sinclair is the logical one to decide that it was a business opportunity to invest in. Fact you didn't know - there is far more ADAM to be recovered THERE than all the dead corpses moldering in the streets after the Civil War/Anarchist Rebellion -- though how to recover it .... DO You Seriously Really Wish to Know ????? What happened to all the Dogs in Rapture (Hint - they were good with Ketchup and Soy Sauce - Dont shake your head, when YOU are hungry enough, you will see). --- --- --- Amazing Fan Artists (Imagination a Game Should Have ) --- --- --- Couldn't Elizabeth just step into the next Dimension over, where Songbird instead had materialize on THIS side of the glass? Then a fun scene of romping through the first level of Rapture with Splicers being chased by that Giant Parakeet in a Gimp Suit ... ((I never have figured out where the '''other dimension's Elizabeth IS, when she does this Tear dimension-changey thing so many times - NEITHER, APPARENTLY, DID THE GAME WRITERS )). --- --- --- If Johnny Topside returned to Rapture would he now come on Delta Airlines ?? --- --- --- LOLSlugs ... Sounds Like a Contest. 'Caption This' ... It may soon be made obvious that Slugs are ALOT less expressive than Cats. Some imaginative invertebrate drawings (Banana Slugs and such) Sluggo : "Hey Chauncey, Have you seen my little girl ?" Mango : "Don't Worry, Fontaine will find another gig for you ..." Whatever ... --- --- --- Finger Licking Gud ? ' : The food supply situation got so bad in Columbia during the siege that they had to eat Songbird (that was after the Bountiful Trashcans had long been exhausted). (( Comstock never called himself 'The Colonel", did he ??? '' )) There was a misunderstanding by Booker : Those "Trashcans" were actually 'manna' baskets (provided by the Prophet) which any citizen could dip into at their need ... --- --- --- 'If You Fart in The Woods Does it Make A Smell ? ' : The teenage 'dare' stunt of 'lighting farts' - what THAT might have mutated into in Rapture using 'ADAM' ... I smell another MMORPG Asset contest ... LIGHTSHOW !!!! Suchong was intrigued, and had an Idea for another Plasmid ... --- --- --- 'Lego BioShock Movie ... Noooooooooos !!!!! ' --- --- --- 'Three Stooges in Rapture - My Fan Fiction ' : Three Blind Mice (also their theme song) : The Stooges Join Atlas's Army and Chaos Ensues "Hey Moe, Why is that guy on fire ??" "See that. He ain't a guy no more, lookit him burn !!!" "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk ... *BONK* !!!" "Why I'll Lobotomize yah !!!" "Spread out !!! We gotta find that EVE or Atlas is gonna skin us." "Hey That's My ADAM!!!" "Give - IT - TO - ME ... "OK here you go ..." *CRUNCH* *SLAM* *SMACK* *WHAM* *CONK* ... *tweet* *tweet* *tweet* ... LA-LA la la-LA-LA ... La La-la-la-la la .. la ... la... la Laaaaaah. --- --- --- '''And then the Splicers started getting into the plumbing... . . . . . . . . . . . . --- --- --- Things in Rapture We DON'T Need To See (But Might) : * The normal process to get the collected ADAM out of a Little Sisters (wherever this happens ... somewhere where those air vents all lead). Actually that could be a rather long way to crawl and maybe they just sleep in them (where even Spider Splicers wont fit) and the Big Daddies escort them back to their 'home' for 'processing' (must've been some conditioning for that we didn't see). Someone suggested those vents lead back to Arcadia (assuming its the only place fresh air comes from) which could mean miles of crawling - not very likely. * Sinclair telling Delta on seeing one of those dead cats - "Those things are good eatin Chief... a little Jalapeno sauce and ..." * The "Kickettes" ( "2 Weeks Only" -- where were they going to go ?? ) still at it in the Fleet Hall (all grody Splicers now). * The Beef-E factory (like a sausage factory, you REALLY don't want to know what goes in that place's back door ...) * Spider Splicers being eaten by Song Bird (with 'tears' who knows?? ) * Sander Cohen doing 'Rap'. * Cannibal Splicers eating (Lil' Sisters swilling blood was sufficiently unsavory)... * Reality TV comes to Rapture (truly would be 'the end'.. ). * Sofia Lamb's strangling kittens as a hobby (an old 'villain showing how EVIL they are' joke) --- --- --- Also there (BaS) was the one-of bondings where the LS bribed a BD with ADAM (never reported because of Suchong's alleged immediate death ??? So it doesn't count.) Probably that method was NOT practical to systematically implement : Requiring a nearly dead Big Daddy, and an LS being coached : ' "Go on , give the poor Big Daddy some of your red stuff, that's right cough some up ... Good Girl !!! Don't be afraid... Look, he's happy now. Ack !!! Red Light! Red Light Take Warning !!! Where is that @%^&* Electro-Bolt When you need it ... Arrrrrgggghhhh!!!!" ...) ' So Suchong is working THEN (before the Kashmir Incident ?) with THAT kind of BD unit ? But WEREN'T THOSE supposed to be created AFTER Suchong was portrayed as *dead* in Buried at Sea (and more vaguely in BS2) ??? The whole thing didn't seem intentional - Suchong to lackey at warehouse : ' "Yes, bring up the damaged Maintenance Cyborg, place it in my clinic office ... Yes that right ... WHAT ? Forklift won't fit up stairs ? Delivery charges supposed to be included in Deal ... *Slams Phone Down* ... Fricken Japanese less trouble ..." ' --- --- --- Experiments : In Rapture there were all kinds of odd projects, like the one trying to 'train' Brain-Boosted cats (using a variant Kitty version) to Sort Mail and File Paperwork. Needless to say, cats being cats, these furry clerks would not be always a reliable mechanism to be employed for this. One of Those Strange Experiments in Old Rapture ... ': Many Farms were reporting vermin problems, and one of the 'bright boys' thought up a possible solution. With some tinkerings and experiments he wired a cat into one of the construction machine type remote control work units. The first experiments showed good progress - the remote system was adapted and the cat was able to control a Flybot unit, but it kept getting distracted or decided to do some napping. So more cats were imported to find some that had the right temperament. More experiments were done, but in the end the cats proved much too uncooperative. In the end, the 'bright boy' wound up in the pet cat import business. --- --- --- ' Another Scenes We Should Have Seem ' : You hear Elizabeth ask Booker (in Rapture) - "Why does this Elevator smell like urine ?" Special elevator camera's were later added for this reason in Rapture and heavy fines imposed on Perps. And Elizabeth was supposed to be SO 'savvy' in Rapture, even though she only got there weeks before (Seriously, drop Ken Levine into a 1840 London Slum, and see HIM adapt instantly to a place as foreign as Rapture would be to the 1912 Attic-Denizen Elizabeth ). --- --- --- ' "Murky Waters" - A Popular Jazz Group in Rapture ''' : Original music (their creating original music of that style) by a few gifted MMORPG Players would go a long way. So "Musical Score and Arrangement" as yet another Game Asset and Asset Type, and set of Template. - '''Stormy Waters : A mid-50's singing group with lyrics Ryan had Cohen specially ghost write to remind people of how dangerous being out on the sea was. It was an attempt to subtlety insert ideas to work against the desire to 'leave' Rapture. ("300 miles to the nearest land and that a deserted freezing wilderness." .... actually lyrics in one of their Songs) --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . Reminds me of the Infinite BS 'Peppermill gun' (used by the goofy 'Motorized Patriots') that supposedly has a handle on its end (for one hand) and a crank in its middle (worked by the other). Booker is supposed to be able to use it (not some machine mount that might possibly support the huge heavy gun). Definitely the product of someone who has NO CONCEPT of how real guns work or had ever held large tools in their hands themselves. --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . . . Little Sisters sure did love those tasty Pituitary Glands. The sound of crunching of auditory canal bone was only the start of their quick extractions of that bit they relished so much. This Angel is still moving Mr B, ... Hit it again !!! --- --- --- Farm Wars : In a galaxy not so far-far away : Food was Life, and Rapture's remaining population needed food to live. The Farms which grew food were continually fought over. The Insideous Lamb wanted all ... The Millenium (brand) Wheelbarrow (it could do the garden run in less than 3 bushels of parsnips) 'Hookies' brand Freight Hooks (guaranteed non-magnetic and non-slip cat-fur handle) "Help Us Julie Langford, You are Our Only Hope" ... (recording found in a Flybot) Light Chainsaws were not just for cutting Zombie's heads off -- The Lumber Industry use needs Force... Harvester attachments for Flybots - some manufactured by the Droidic Agricultural Implement Company (Mr Droidic was a mechanical genius and even got an award for innovation at one of Rapture's Technical Fairs ...) "The True Force is with the Free" - Andrew Ryan (Ryan had NO breathing problems) Yes, Stupid derivative Star Wars references, but let me know when (if) you can do better .... Darth Farmhand is really Little Sally's real father... (didn't see THAT one comin, did you ??) --- --- --- Road to Rapture : Hope and Crosby's next 'Road picture' (1949), which got a sudden name change. (( This an MMORPG story )) Having the name 'Rapture' bandied about via a popular movie might have been problematic ... ' "I think we made a wrong turn at Zanzibar ..." ' Strange Drill marks on the Studio Executive's door, and a fish head in his bed ??? --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . A somewhat Freudian statement probably seen as a display in part of the Hephaestus power center Tour. The huge monstrocity you saw in Hephaestus was more show than a proper system. Rapture's power would come from far more smaller (less impressive) units than that preposterous 'Core' thing. --- --- --- Slang, and not Just American : Slang for Picking a Lock is "Embarrassing the Chutney" - mentioned by the insane Elizabeth in the MMORPG (she rattles off stuff like that continuously since she is socially malformed, and is in a mode of constantly regurgitating "stuff she learned from books" (much to Booker DeWitt PI's annoyance). The Two Lutece Prats in Rapture uttered crap like this, but they were mugged and robbed and killed and eaten by feral children in Sofia Lamb's Paupers Drop. --- --- --- Kinetoscope - "Mighty Songbird Patrols the Skies!" *FIXED* ': '''What the Hell is that ??? Is that a child it has in its claws ? ' '''Satan's Demon has come for us !!!! RUNNNNNNnnnnnn..... !!!! I never did trust that Comstock. This has all been the Devils work ! ' '''The Apocalypse Is HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRE....... *Throws self overside and plummets to death* ' '''FIN --- --- --- "Jean Banks" was a Infamous Dancer in Early Rapture ' : Who mysteriously died after some strange dealings with Sander Cohen (drug overdose was the official cause). The ADAM Modification device probably was NOT named after him. --- --- --- '''Punchline From Joke Heard In a Rapture Nightclub '- "... And then you have to give the Whale an enema" *rimshot* ... --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . 'MMORPG does NOT stand for "Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Pony Game" ' --- --- --- '''Mystery : But What Happened to Schrodinger's Dog ? Too big for the Box ? The Cat/Splicers ate it/disposed of it (LOLCat joke) ? --- --- --- "Rapture Reborn : An MMORPG so compelling that it will ruin thousands of people's lives" - Rolling Stone Magazine. --- --- --- Strange Audio Diary : "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! .... The Cat Splicer has torn off my leg.... If you are listening to this this, you also are ... Oh No .... DOOOOMED !!! ....... Roowwwwwrrrrrrrrrrr *Crunch* ........" --- --- --- Mighta Been : Just Imagine What Columbia Coulda Done With *Quantumz Toilets* !!!!! Or not. ((MMORPG remake could have alot of fun with THIS idea...)) --- --- --- Humor : Dead cat in Point Prometheus Optimized Eugenics was called "Jean" ... 'Jean' Gene ... --- --- --- Amusing Vignettes : * Splicer Crap Game (with real crap) * Yet Another Weird Sight : Cats Wearing Masks : pix Perhaps just a Splicer 'joke', OR evidence of something much more serious. "Dr Frisky" might be mentioned. * Cliche - "Splicers Around Table Playing Poker" (in place of one of those unlikely BS2 Church of the Family pictures. --- --- --- Strange Splicer Tale #431 ' : "I don't think Howard Hughes ever flew the Spruce Goose (Hercules) to Rapture, do you ??" Another one of those strange tails Splicers tell ... (Jars of Urine all over the place - Yeah THAT'S the reason ... OMG OMG, THAT explains that!!!) Note Conspiracy Theories do help while away the years after all 'the goodies' are gone (THAT !@#$%^&* FONTAINE !!!!). --- --- --- '''War Of The Worlds (That HG Wells Story, 1897) Was Caused By 'Tears' ? ' : Seems those Martians (or "The Followers of Marty" as they call themselves) they heard a rather obscene insult against their favorite pop singing star and instantly declared a War of Annihilation against the perpetrators, which they happen to have identified as on Earth (via a Tear). SO, All kinds of Repercussions for the affect of these artificial interdimensional instabilities might have many Worlds (and in many dimensions) rather angry -- when they figure out who's causing it. Big Foot ? You can add your own story to explain that stuff ... The Lutece Particles themselves cause some of the worst effects in other dimensions (and Columbia was loaded with them). Consider also : Almost at once the technology was available to the US Government and all the other countries (after all, their spies WOULD have crawled all over Columbia during the Exposition and stolen every thing there). (If Suchong could recreate a 'Tear' machine just by looking at Fink's running the Lutece's device, what could HUNDREDS of other far greater geniuses, and FAR more resources, then lead to ???) So then everything in the future which Columbia would face changed anyway -- so very drastically and completely. Columbia itself and Comstock would have been destroyed (particularly with the sloppy Lutece's weird 'quantum' machinery was spewing dangerous Tears everywhere, so they (in so many dimensions) were hunted down and obliterated by flying Dreadnoughts with technology far superior to the backward 'Columbia'. THAT all happened just a few years after Comstock went 'rogue'. Teddy Roosevelt himself shot 'Songbird' with his 'Hyper-Rifle', but declared it no challenge, and hesitated to even have the stuffed carcass put in the Smithsonian. The Columbia Story, you see in the game, is just a 'Psychic Circus Presentation' viewed by toddlers in the Earth's future as an entertainment and potty training aid. --- --- --- '''Cutting Commentaries Can Be Amusing : Cloddumbia - a satirical farce play story by Sander Cohen involving a magical floating city and a creepy religious cult (allegories for the problems of the parasite-infested Surface World - made to earn brownie point with Ryan ... ) The zany antics of an odd fellow named 'Becomestuck', and his Dancing Parrot, made it a perennial favorite production. 'Cutting' is not a word you want to suggest to OUR Sander Cohen ... No Sir . THE PLASTER HAS RUN OUT !!! --- --- --- There is a Rumor : That in a BaS1 plot 'storyboard', Booker was shown holding up a Rubber Chicken and called it "Demitasse". This may be a reference to the Brouhaha that some Game Forum people (years ago) got up to WHEN on seeing some PRE-BS2 trailers (on the InterwebZ a while before the game came out). They began to wildly speculate, and blew up a mere "Demitasse" sign seen in the trailer into some new Arch Villain for the coming BS2 game ( Iassume they thought it was like the FONTAINE signs seen around Rapture in BS1). I think somebody just made that rubber chicken 'storyboard' up as a joke at that 'fan derp squads' expense. --- --- --- Alternate Universes : OMG Elizabeth is her OWN Mother !!!! : The plotline gets kinda really creepy with this revelation ... Use that chalkboard growth progression diagram WITH a disturbing added step. Surprise!!! Booker/Comstock are not HER father (it was that guy who was gonna be 'stoned' with the baseball #77 ...) --- --- --- The "Epstein the Swami" machines will be back in the MMORPG (maybe as a secret agent mission giving device - "Good Morning Mr Phelps ..." ) --- --- --- UFO Incident for Rapture : A report of a mysterious object found at a remote location at great depth... (Not part of a Surface Disinformation Project) Turns out to be some lost Macy's Thanksgiving Day Float, or some missing Adverstising submarine of Sander Cohen's (which would tow glowing advertisements outside around buildings) . --- --- --- The Farside Constants : There is ALWAYS a Cow, a Duck, and a Squid ... ''' --- --- --- '''Snake on a Bathysphere... : Must've escaped from the Zoo or was someones exotic pet. Probably a very lucky reptile because them snakes is good eatin - tastes like chicken... (after 10 years of fish and bathtub grown algae, just about anything else might seem tasty). --- --- --- Dark They Were & Golden-Eyed (from a Ray Bradbury short story) ... Better not be about more Cats again. --- --- --- MMORPG Bloopers Reel : All kinds of wacko things can be produced with the MMORPGs Tools, things which are not supposed to be in the Game World, but can be placed to the side for Player viewing and (hopefully) amusement. (Parodies, Scenes you would want to see, Bizaare little vignettes, etc...) * Wouldn't you like to see a recreation of Sander Cohen's Quadtych self-congradulation scene - him coming down the stairs at Fort Frolic as his confetti-loaded fireworks go off, and HIM tripping and bouncing down the stairs (head over heels) and the some appropriate punchline -- OR a sickening crunch as he lands and breaks his neck and then silence and the words "Few artists are appreciated during their lifetime" being shown (or somesuch) * The scene where Jack swings the golf club at Ryan way too low ... * Delta breaking through the Glass into the Isolation Room as Sophia is Smothering Eleanor .... Or The end scene where Delta gets his hands around Sofia neck and does a Sally Pop on her. * Fontaine doing a 'Heckle and Jeckle' imitation (google it), and then Cagney and Groucho Marx on an Audio Diary (give Players Creators a chance to show off their mimic abilities) * "Would You Kindly - sweep up the room and then clean the windows." (Ryan suddenly has an idea...) * A Big Daddy doing "Puttin on the Ritz" like in Young Frankenstein * Spider Spicer playin the Banjo (Southern Comfort scene) * Dead Men Tell No Tales - Rapture as a ride at Disneyland... (The disembodied voice says "No Kings, No Gods, Only Man" before you plunge down into the water...) The potential is endless. --- --- --- Apollo landing on the Moon -- Face Palm by Ryan saying "I should have built Rapture there ...." See Also Rapture_on_The_Moon --- --- --- The Iconic Diving Helmet on guy wearing Gorilla suit : - Inspired by some 'Ghost/Dream/Memory' escaping Rapture to the Surface?? Google image "Robot Monster 1953" --- --- --- "WHO IS FATASS ?" ' - the Slimdown Tonic, advertisement poster A takeoff of the "Who is Atlas" poster... --- --- --- '''Sherlock Holmes in Columbia ' - "Its elementary my dear Watson, I'm insane and appropriately in a Lunatic Asylum." --- --- --- "I saw my first cat while going through the game again today ... though it was on a cutting board in Sander Cohen's kitchen..." There are somethings that are better left un-mentioned, un-commented upon. (or not). --- --- --- 'Lost Opportunities (are Legion in BaS) : ' BaS Spider Splicers could have used those Meat-Hook things for that new pointless Pneumo-Line thing (its got a chain drive) ?? Seeing THEM leap down onto Booker the way Booker did to opponents in Columbia ... Moving target is a bit harder to hit than when the crawled along ceiling/walls (though maybe its not as creepy looking). Might have been amusing to see Elizabeth screaming like 'Fay Wray' as they descended upon her. Seeing Samurai from Tears visiting the Camera Shop at Fontaine's ... --- --- --- '''That Oops Moment : Booker and Elizabeth make it to Paris, them skipping along, and THEN they seen the Germans parading up the Champs Elysees, and NEXT you see them running away VERY FAST (And someone shouting "HALT !!! HALT !!!" ) ... --- --- --- MOORPG : A Cow version of Rapture is NOT impossible (just getting someone do do enough of it - a massively expanded 'Secret Cow Level' ...) - MMOPaM - Massively Multiplayer Online Pop-A-Mole --- --- --- Fallen, Fallen is Babylon !!! (this not funny enough for the FillIn Funnies) : It's falling, it's crashing ! Watch it, watch it ! Get out of the way ! Get this, Charlie ! Oh, the Humanity... KJV; "And he cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird." Sounds more like its talking about Infinite BS's Columbia, doesn't it ? Historical Note - Babylon, destroyed by barbarians (who always hover on the edge of civilization) lay desolate for 1000 years before rising again ... '' Those old Mesopotamian cities, made largely of mud brick, when laid waste (and everyone killed or taken away as slaves) by a rival city, would be all but gone in a space of 50 years time (and leaving little structure for archeologists to find). The "Staff" Plaster, burlap cloth+fibers and lathing Exposition buildings were made of would be about as lasting. Yes, A bit too much for your usual game Player ... "GIMME MORE THINGS TO SHOOOT, U F#$%^ING TARDS !!!!!! ((''a lesson that should have been there for Infinite BS - *MORE* better game mechanics, *LESS* attempting to be clever with some Contorted Asinine Plot™)) --- --- --- Prime Time Tonight : Getting The Thinker to 'guest host' the "Rapture Tonight" TV talk show really didn't work. The "AI" thing was largely a scam, though it did do a reasonable job mimicking a voice (Remember thought, that AGAIN you (the Player) have an ADAM-Addled brain, and probably would hear your Cornflakes talk to you in the morning at breakfast). --- --- --- Where Do You Wear a Bikini in Rapture ? ' : Strange Image - Sander Cohen... (I won't say any more.) Bikini Atoll nuclear tests 1946 ... (the origin of the name via a French clothing designer) About which the News from The Surface would NOT be lost on Ryan (and the people yet to come to Rapture) There later, no doubt, would be some 'designers' in Rapture who thought they could do 'fashion'. (of course 'New' fashion and 'Good' fashion are two different things). When the contact with the Surface were severed by 1952, then the supply of 'good' from up there also largely stopped. (( Newspapers/magazines still being smuggled, still at significant expense, but they could be passed hand-to-hand for quite a long time. )) There must've been some artificial Beach with artificial seawater and a strong artificial sun (and some sand). If someone was clever (hint - Sinclair) they could get some (relatively) big space (not the Stadium as THAT would have constant use for sports/other things) and have as its gimmick some constantly changeable (periodic) popular settings (one likely being a Beach simulation). "Carnival" (one node on my Rapture city map) might be a venue with many available facilities to complement such a 'seasonal' attraction. --- --- --- '"ADAM - Freshly Squeezed from Granny's Lifeless Remains !!!" ''' : Hmm, thinking about the onerousness of this 'Gathering' activity, that flavor additives MIGHT have been instilled into the Little Sisters extraction device (What would happen when they actually had to taste the body fluids for real when the supplies of those additives ran out ??? Well we saw lots of sodapop and taterchips laying about so I guess something might be arranged.) "Ooooh, Mr Bubbles, this one tastes like Bubblegum." "Cotton Candy, Cotton Candy, I love my Cotton Candy ... " "Strange, this Angel tastes like Ketchup !!!" "I sooooo luv a Nice Chianti !!!" "Simon Says : Pop The Angel's Eyeball !!! Ewwwwwwww!!! Ha ha ha haaaah ..." "Daaadeee, I don't feel good. Take me home." --- --- --- '''Coulrophobia - The fear of Clowns : Will be a term tossed around like "QUANTUM" was for Infinite BS for CLOWN MODE COLUMBIA - with LONG explanations about the psychological factors and the relevance to American Society and how evils it all was. - Mimes (USUALLY We just say say "no" To Clown Splicers, but 'Mimes' not so bad ...) --- --- --- 'Dimwit' - First Recorded Use Of That Word Was In 1922 ''' : Would they use this for a popular entertainment thingee where simplistic long time recognition by the patrons would be logical ? A new word stolen from "the future" doesn't work for ordinary folk for quite a long time (and probably unused until the time Comstock 'stole' Columbia, and he could start this whole weird culture). "Feeblewit" might be just as good, no ? 'Birdbrain' ? Nah, that might seen as a criticism to Songbird and by extension to the Founders (a crime punishable by 'hard labor' on one of those prison barges ...) Duke & Dolt ?? ("dolt" first known use 1553) "Duke" ? The original American founders didn't cotton to Aristocrats (Prince/Duke/Queen/King were names Americans gave to their dogs). But then, hardly anything in KENNY_L's Columbia reflects any '''real America. --- --- --- We Coulda Had a Giant Flying Cat!!! --- --- --- Sander Cohen's Plaster Plasmid (or is it a Tonic or Combination) ? : Gives you that white pasty look, perfect for simulating Silent-Film type makeup, and makes you talk and gesture in an accentuated manner, and sometime behave in a somewhat accelerated way. Perhaps it was an advantage to his minions ? Waterproof ? More comfortable in the dank cold environment (they seem to live in the walls alot - maybe chew on plaster bits for fun...). How would it have been invented or obtained by Sander Cohen ? -- Was it a product of some of his Plasmid/Tonic 'cocktail' experiments?? --- --- --- Yet anotherof the 'Never Quite Popular' Plasmids : *Loosen Bowels* - NEW from Amalgamated ADAM (AKA 'The Brown Note' ) Dangerous Thug after YOU ? Don't Worry ! Hit the Parasite with *Loosen Bowels*, and 86 the Bum by sending him in a desperate rush for the nearest Little Boys Room !!! --- --- --- Trans-orbital Lobotomy Kits in Circus of Value Machine ''': Used in the of the stupidest scenes in BaS ... --- --- --- '''Fuddisms - "Wyan's Wapture... Shhhh. Be Vewee Vewee quiet, I'm huntin Pawasites ... " Elmer Fudd is enlisted in New Rapture's War on Sofia Lamb's Minions (and other generic "Pawasites"...) Lamb might be dead/gone, but now she is elevated to being a god (by some) and its even Harder to fight this Stupidity. Elmer Fudd became a much feared adversary to Splicers out there in The Ruins. Unfortunatly Sander Cohen was NOT known as 'bugsy'... (Though he may have seen one too many Bugs Bunny cartoons.) --- --- --- "Yes, Why Not ?" (Another of Cohen's Theater Titles??) : Sander Cohen gets ahold of a Handyman, and does the Dance scene from Young Frankenstein. ((Even better lets Infinitize/DLC this and make Cohen a universal genius like Lutece/Fink/Suchong/Elizabeth, and have him MAKE his own Handyman lackey (big plaster covered goon with an interesting way he goes through those Securis doors). It would take care of all those bothersome tasks which get in the way of creative inspiration - like mixing plaster, seizing and fastening explosives to ingrates, fetching Cappucinos, doing the daily rollcall of the Plasterettes, Feeding the Bunnies, etc.... If we "Go Crazy" (another good Theatrical title ...), Sander Cohen could become a interdimensional god like Elizabeth ("Wouldn't that be Fun"(title).. - at least as a dream sequence for the MMORPG)). --- --- --- Lets Rap about Rapture !!! : There be this Ryan who wasn't a Hawaiian, Coulda been a Lion but surrenda monkey'd out an dyin'd. Just hafta be mo' Mayan if yo wanna be like my bro' Brian So's you getz to Zion, I aint not here be lyin'. *** Actually makes a bit more sense that what you usually hear Splicers Sayin ... (b'fo they be slayin') --- --- --- Oops, Look before you Leap ... : The Luteces made the mistake of stepping thru a Tear into the Cat dimension, and before they knew it THEY were in a closed box with a poison capsule, made part of a feline's "Thought Experiment"... --- --- --- Rapture Version of Monopoly (or CandyLand) ... Don't copy that existing one, make up own ... ' : Sorry, you can't play it in-game, it is a Copyright infringement. ( Perhaps a Splicer Delusion with them seen playing it vaguely and talking about it). * If you Pass the ''Lighthouse collect $R200. * Go to Persephone. Don't Pass the Lighthouse, Don't collect $R200. * '''Splicer in the Wall !! Head to the Plasmid Store. * All the obvious names from the Solo games for the different Properties * Austen Bathysphere - Pay Fare and Tip $R50 * Little Sister leaves a Teddy, Collect $R129 * Ate Bad Fish for Lunch. Go to Medical Pavilion (Don't Pass Lighthouse) * Circus of Values took your Money - Lose $R25 * Take a Ride on the Atlantic Express * Ack!!! Flying Security Bot after you - Run BACK to nearest Shutdown Unit * "Get Away From The Big Daddy FREE" card. * Unstable Teleport Plasmid - Roll Again Free Move * Parasite Steals your wallet - Lose $R50 * Your Toilet Scrubbing Machine is a Success - Go to The Kashmir Restaurant * Big Daddy takes a dislike to you. Go to the Eternal Flame Funeral Home. * Epstein the Swami says "Look Behind You!!", go to the nearest Vita Chamber and lose a Turn. Perhaps the MMORPG Player finds these odd cards lying about (a Collect-them-all *Achievement* !!!) --- --- --- Elizabeth Takes Booker Through A Tear, But Something Has Gone Horribly Wrong : Columbia is There Filled with Brain-Eating Zombies, AND ELIZABETH IS ALSO ONE OF THEM !!!! Can Booker Escape? Or is Booker Brain Patte 'on the menu' ???? --- --- --- The Bioshock Movie - Starring Will Smith as Andrew Ryan : And after that, the Infinite BS Movie with Will Smith as Elizabeth ... "BioShock, The TV Series" .... "Breaking Rapture" ... "My Favorite Daddy" ... The Porno parody ... "Lizzy Does Rapture" BioShock the Daily Comic Strip, the Coloring Book, the Ride at Disneyland (after they buy the franchise - so you will see Big Daddies walking down Main Street, and Circus of Value machines selling Churros.) --- --- --- A Clockwork Teacup" - a Story of Teenage Rebellion in Columbia. ''' --- --- --- '''Punk-O-Rama : Theres : * Steam-Punk * Diesel-Punk * Atom-Punk But What about : * Unicorn Tear Punk (Infinite BS ?) * UnicornPhartPunk ? * MethanePunk (not perfect, but better than "FartPunk") : Infinite BS was more like "Bullshit-Punk" or "Faux-WeTriedToBeTooClever-Punk " (they pretended and endlessly talked up their 'Quantum' stuff as if it was based on real Science, really just employing the buzzwords just to sound good, and not any real science. So : * Genre-Regurgitation-Punk * MilkTheBrandToCashIn-Punk (( '' WE May have more here once we get more info about the next BioShock game '' )) --- --- --- "Bwahahaha" <<<<< Where can this be used in game ? (needed - a Dr Evil styled bad guy ('Boss') -- Who never gets killed - always escapes just out of reach - 'Blofeld' (and his Cat) who always filled in the first 5 minutes of those old James Bond movies...). "BWAH HA HA HA Huh *cough* *cough* " --- --- --- Little Shop of Rapture (Horrors) : Langford's experiments with flowers gone bad - encounter with a carniverous Rose (ghosts in Apollo Square arent the only ones who yell "feeeeed meeeeee"....). It might sing or not.... Players are warned about drinking before going out on adventures... Nightmares in Rapture ... --- --- --- Rapture Pick-up Lines : Post-Splicing -- "Nice Tumor" "Is that a Thompson Machinegun or are you glad to see me ?" - Female Splicer talking to her gun...(then laughing maniacally). --- --- --- Sounds From The Lighthouse : "If they're so smart, let 'em come up with a Plasmid for cleaning seagull crap offa stonework ..." "You would think that a 200 foot lighthouse would not be conducive to secrecy." "Hey look, some guy named Jack carved his initials into this bannister" "Gettin to go up to The Surface aint all its cracked up to be, Im freezing my ass off ..." "No, no, no. FIRST you close the door and THEN you hit the descend button ..." "I just found a message in a bottle ... who is Ringo??? " "Hey Skipper, look A Lighthouse!! Lets go tell the Professor, maybe he can figure out where the fuck we are ..." Prophet Elijah - "Oops, wrong Rapture ..." "You think anyone will want these Ryan statues any more?" "Who the hell keeps leavin' Pepbar wrappers and empty beer bottles up here ???" "Hey Mr Bubbles, that 'sphere ride was fun! Aaaaah, that bright thing is hurting my eyes, Kill It!!, Kill It !!!!" "Huh?? Hey! Where did all those other Lighthouses come from?!!! Phewww, really gotta stop drinkin that Absinthe stuff ..." --- --- --- Weird Art (Let the Player's Imaginations Be Unleashed !!) : British Police Phone booth/box (contemporary with Rapture) - the lights flash and the thing shimmers and out steps Sander Cohen in a Pope-hat (naked) with a long scarf (or the door opens and a pile of fish guts pours out - the tricky to simulate flow of half-rotted fish refuse will be a good special effect for the game). Ah. Sophisticated 'Art' has come to Rapture !!! --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . . Wait til Booker starts blowing chunks out of people and bloody mayhem starts. Then Elizabeth will be rolling on the ground in fetal position shaking and crying and soon near catatonic. Yes you can simply be prepared for simple life by 'Book Learnin' as the writers propose. Faux-Believable-Characters ... --- --- --- . . . . . . . . . --- --- --- ' A Line From The Movie "Unforgiven" ' : "Kid, none of these games live upto their hype." - The Term 'Jive Turkey' might as well have been created for all the 'hype' about Infinite BS --- --- --- Going to Rapture to Get Away from the Inlaws ... ' : It Happens. (Mother in-law was the third most common reason for going to Rapture) (??) --- --- --- '''I Try to Do At Least One Impossible Thing Every Day ... : ' You walk up to the "Epstein the Swami" machine, put in the special token and the recording begins : "Good Morning Mr Phelps..... " "Your mission should you decide to accept it.... " "This message will self-destruct in five seconds" (you run very fast and it goes off like a grenade - earning alot of stares from nearby Citizens ...) --- --- --- 'If You Wanna Do Real ''Stupid Fantasy Then ... : Infinite universes ?? SO lets have at least one 'micro' universe up Elizabeth's ass, and the one up Comstock's ass (and Booker's naturally), AND they are at War with each other. The E Coli can be the equivalent of the 'rebels'. BioShock : Proctologist !!!! Seriously, that is more logical/interesting than the Infinite BS's game's plot ... --- --- --- ' "Breaking The Fourth Wall" (Talking To The Audience) ' * Elizabeth Thinking - "What IF I'm just a character in some stupid game !!!" * "Why The Heck Does Songbird look like a Giant Parakeet in A Gimp suit ???" * Booker : "They didn't say the 'girl' still had to be alive ..." * Mime in Paris : "Look at all these weirdos that keep coming to this City ..." etc... --- --- --- Too Much Information : * How ADAM is recovered from Little Sisters ... * Amusing 'explanation' cartoonized video for how to use the Suppository form of Plasmids and Tonics * Scenes of extreme violence used by various miscreants (Lamb/Fontaine/etc..) Lamb recreating the famous 'baseball bat' scene from "The Untouchables". Fontaine doing the cocaine scene from Scarface. Sander Cohen doing the Uranus Eating his Children from that BBC series with Caligula... * Use of the 'necessary' in Rapture -- an Avatar experience (and why you'd rather not use one just used by a Spider Splicer ...) * Tour of the "Sausage Factory" (never recommended to anyone - nor the backrooms of a chinese restaurant) * Stanley Poole is back and he is wearing just a "Pope Hat" --- --- --- 101 Things to do With a Dead Sea Slug : Growing Sea Slugs for fun and profit - McClendon Biological Systems Sushi !!! Sea Slugs ARE a Mollusk... (Taste like Chicken ??) 'Its Dead Jim' ... Flush it down the loo. Make up a limerick about it. Skin it and cure the hide and make boots out of it --- --- --- Gilligan's Island Themed Scenario (mini-story) : Castaways on a sub wrecked in a deserted X (something remote??) during Civil War when not as likely to be missed. Stupid barnacle jokes - falling off ceiling on the 'Skippers' head Barnacle Pie (to emulate the coconut everything) Kludged together ordinary items (rocks, fishheads jellyfish, and kelp??) etc, ad nausem Hillarious FUN at 20 Atmospheres!!!! If not for the courage of the fearless crew the Tonsil would be lost ... (Bathysphere mini-sub on a 3 hour tour....) Cameo appearance by Sander Cohen, a Sinclair lookalike, Delta, and others Creative Player Creation effort worth at least ONE Face-Palm in the contests. --- --- --- The Least well-known Splicer type - The "Baker" Splicer : Usually found in some abandoned apartment or restaurant preparing biscuits or somesuch. (Flaming Stove and Oven the hotter the better). Leaden Donuts fly out of hands and strike opponents. Rolling Pins make good blunt instrument weapons. "Best idea since Spliced Bread" - the original 'Plasmid' for culinary skill - advertised as : Le Cordon Bleu Skill in a Bottle.... Unfortunately coupled with insanity, the 'recipes' might not be what you would expect. His Book is titled "To Serve Man" !!!! Look Out !! Its Got a French Bread !!!!! --- --- --- Humor - What if "Would You Kindly" had been... : "Hey Asshole, Do what I say!!!" --- --- --- Postcards From Hell (Columbia) : United States postcards from 1873-1898 : Only the US Postal Service was authorized to produce postal cards. So the ones of Columbia (from its Good Days (1893-1902 ??? before it became a cultist hell) had to be OFFICIAL ONLY. During the Exposition it would be popular, as from other tourist spots, to send a postcard (probably ones saying "Floating 1000 feet above the Ground"). See if Columbia post cards pix can be of use here : * Postcard : "World's Fair Hotel. H. H. Holmes Proprietor" (last thing received from missing person) * Peking Antique Faire (Oops, once Comstock running the place, there wouldn't be postcards mailed out any more) * Father Comstock Blessing Card (price $25) * Suggestion Cards (in a Columbia Suggestion Box found with the remains of 87 rotting corpses) * One of those Tourist Photographic Picture postcards with the people inserting their heads into the wood cutout scene of flogging some disobedient serf-types, or standing proudly over 'Vox' corpses they have shot, or at the monthly Fair Lynching. --- --- --- --- --- . .